http://mynepenthebook.com/2009/05/my-nepenthe-time-to-let-go/ Fri, 11 May 2012 01:23:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 http://mynepenthebook.com/2009/05/my-nepenthe-time-to-let-go/comment-page-1/#comment-100 Erin Gafill Wed, 20 May 2009 16:29:58 +0000 http://mynepenthebook.com/?p=616#comment-100 Sometimes I think we're afraid to say it is hard, because it IS also so rewarding and wonderful and joyful and fulfilling. But it is also very hard, and we grew up without any of the ideas of parenting that we ourselves are trying to use in our own current roles as parents. Much, I think, as our parents before us entered the parent/child dynamic completely unprepared. Perhaps this is always the way. Or, if you did get a really strong parenting message as a child, you rebel against it by trying to create something entirely different. So, we are all always swimming about looking for the life raft of certainty in the rushing rapids of self-doubt and onward momentum. No one REALLY knows or has the answers. Just temporary answers. Just remember, your kids know you love them and love you immensely too. Sometimes I think we’re afraid to say it is hard, because it IS also so rewarding and wonderful and joyful and fulfilling. But it is also very hard, and we grew up without any of the ideas of parenting that we ourselves are trying to use in our own current roles as parents. Much, I think, as our parents before us entered the parent/child dynamic completely unprepared. Perhaps this is always the way. Or, if you did get a really strong parenting message as a child, you rebel against it by trying to create something entirely different. So, we are all always swimming about looking for the life raft of certainty in the rushing rapids of self-doubt and onward momentum. No one REALLY knows or has the answers. Just temporary answers. Just remember, your kids know you love them and love you immensely too.

]]> http://mynepenthebook.com/2009/05/my-nepenthe-time-to-let-go/comment-page-1/#comment-99 romneysteele Wed, 20 May 2009 02:19:57 +0000 http://mynepenthebook.com/?p=616#comment-99 Hi Erin, you're my biggest fan and I thank you for that; for reading and writing and continuing in the work that you do too. "Harder than granite"–wish I had thought of that line; so true and yet there are the wonderful moments too, and all that we have worked for shines forth on the days that it does. You have been an inspiration to me all these years–watching you (and Tom) mother your brood, and seeing both Chi and Emily take the steps necessary, as small as they sometimes may seem, to go out into the world and be the best that they know how. Hi Erin, you’re my biggest fan and I thank you for that; for reading and writing and continuing in the work that you do too. “Harder than granite”–wish I had thought of that line; so true and yet there are the wonderful moments too, and all that we have worked for shines forth on the days that it does. You have been an inspiration to me all these years–watching you (and Tom) mother your brood, and seeing both Chi and Emily take the steps necessary, as small as they sometimes may seem, to go out into the world and be the best that they know how.

]]> http://mynepenthebook.com/2009/05/my-nepenthe-time-to-let-go/comment-page-1/#comment-98 Erin Lee Gafill Wed, 20 May 2009 00:14:14 +0000 http://mynepenthebook.com/?p=616#comment-98 Yes, this is all EXACTLY the way it is and harder than granite, harder than you can describe, harder than anyone can imagine. It is so good to know that this is true for everyone, regardless of the shiny facade they may present to the world. Every child and every parent must go through this crucible of change and the heat can get very hot indeed. Letting go and loving, guiding and steering while cheering from the sidelines, while closing your eyes as they seem to want to paddle straight out to the rapids rushing over the cliffs, worrying you say too much and it will send them the wrong way faster, worrying that you'll not say enough and they won't know what you had to share that might have saved them . . . you haven't walked away from the struggle, you haven't farmed it out or tuned it out, and you're just rising to the occasion every day sweet cous! Hang in there! We love you! Yes, this is all EXACTLY the way it is and harder than granite, harder than you can describe, harder than anyone can imagine. It is so good to know that this is true for everyone, regardless of the shiny facade they may present to the world. Every child and every parent must go through this crucible of change and the heat can get very hot indeed. Letting go and loving, guiding and steering while cheering from the sidelines, while closing your eyes as they seem to want to paddle straight out to the rapids rushing over the cliffs, worrying you say too much and it will send them the wrong way faster, worrying that you’ll not say enough and they won’t know what you had to share that might have saved them . . . you haven’t walked away from the struggle, you haven’t farmed it out or tuned it out, and you’re just rising to the occasion every day sweet cous! Hang in there! We love you!

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